


Reflections

by The_Word_Arranger



Category: Starfighter (Comic)
Genre: Eclipse Spoilers, Ethos is Amazing, I Can't Handle Selene's Sad Face, I Love Abel But Sometimes I Don't, M/M, Mild BDSM Moments, Self-Esteem Issues, boys crying, weird science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:04:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4029496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Word_Arranger/pseuds/The_Word_Arranger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s called self-worth because it comes from yourself, but sometimes you need a little help. -or- When Selene admits to his frustrations with Abel, Ethos offers him some advice as someone who has been there, done that. In which two amazing people discover their similarities, laugh, cry, save the day and celebrate being alive the good old-fashioned way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The second time I played through Starfighter Eclipse, I played as a jerk, went after Abel and made Selene sad. Watching all that low self-esteem come pouring out of such an amazing character and then not helping fix it hurt, and even though I enjoyed the endings to the Abel path, particularly the threesome one, I still felt bad about Selene. I wrote this to make myself feel better, and to explore another awesome character that doesn’t get enough love. 
> 
> This starts at the end of day three of the game, and may or may not reference events from different paths. Don’t think too hard about it.
> 
> I have no beta so all errors are my bad. Constructive criticism is encouraged.
> 
> All love to HamletMachine!
> 
> ***

“Aaargh!” 

Ethos almost fell out of his chair in alarm, suddenly alert after allowing his mind to wander. He was on the bridge thinking in foreign tongues about language roots while the computer ran his latest algorithm against the data they recovered from the Derelict. He looked across the room and saw Selene curled up in his seat with his forehead against his knees, and who knew he could make such a noise anyways? Ethos gave a sad half-smile, pushed his chair back and went over to check on his newest crewmate. 

“Hey Selene. Still having trouble with your analysis?”

Selene had his arms wrapped around his legs, and Ethos watched his hands curl into fists. It was late and all the other bridge crew had given up and packed away hours ago. Ethos liked working when the bridge was quiet; he could let his mind delve into whatever problem he was working on, and no one gave him shit if he talked out loud to himself in half a dozen languages while he did it. He had a feeling Selene wasn’t staying late because he enjoyed the solitude though; he had been visibly more and more upset the last few days as the data failed to yield to his intellect.

“I feel like such an idiot.” Selene’s voice was muffled as he spoke into his knees.

Ethos cocked his head to the side as he sat next to him. “I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks Selene, but I can tell that’s not true. Don’t be so hard on yourself, we’re all struggling here.”

Selene exploded out of his balled position and stared at Ethos. “Abel isn’t struggling.” He practically spat Abel’s name, like it tasted bad.

“Oh.” Ethos knew that look in Selene’s eyes. “Yeah…Abel.” He knew that look because he’d seen it in the mirror a few time. “Um, you wanna get out of here; go grab some coffee or something?”

“Okay. It’s not like I’m getting anything productive done here.” Selene shut down his workstation and Ethos glanced back across at his to make sure the decryption algorithm was still running. He would check on it in the morning. Right now, he had other problems to work on.

***

They walked down to the mess together and Ethos got them both mugs of herbal tea because more caffeine wasn’t going to help at this point. He sat down across from Selene in the empty room and pushed the mug towards him. “So, Abel?” he prompted.

Selene gave a disgusted little snort. “Is he for real? I mean, I’ve only known him a little while and he’s always been a little, you know…”

“Obnoxiously perfect?” Ethos supplied sympathetically.

“Yeah, that; but the last few days have been even worse. The entire bridge crew all act like the sun shines out of his ass. Luna told Helios that Abel did twelve hours of work in five minutes like she was announcing the second coming of Christ. Doesn’t anyone else find that frustrating?”

Ethos took a sip of his tea. “I actually find it kinda creepy,” he said matter-of-factly.

Selene blinked. “That too, now that you mention it. I don’t understand why it’s so easy for him. Actually I just don’t understand him at all.” Selene slumped back in his seat and Ethos watched how expressively his hands moved when he spoke. “He’s so hot and cold with people. Like he’s so friendly one minute, and then when I asked him a question while he was working on the data decryption he practically snarled at me. Five minutes later he’s batting his eye lashes at me and flirting! He goes on and on about how amazing and wonderful Cain is, is a total jerk to me, and then tries to put the moves on? Is he making fun of me?” Selene crossed his arms tight against his chest in a sharp gesture and scowled.

“That’s… odd.” Ethos’ eyes went wide. “I mean, not because of you or anything. Um, you’re great and it’s totally not a surprise that people would hit on you or anything because… I mean…” Ethos cut his babbling short and cleared his throat. “It’s just that Abel is pretty devoted to Cain, kinda stupidly if you ask me.”

Selene’s face went from momentarily charmed to incredulous. He started tapping the table with his fingernails in agitation. “Devoted? Only I caught him hitting on Helios this morning and he had no problems when Helios flirted right back. And that’s another thing. I didn’t expect Helios to, you know, fall in love with me or anything just because we’re partnered together, but it would be nice if he could not treat me like absolute trash while falling all over someone else. Especially not Abel.” 

Ethos frowned sadly. “Yours too, huh?”

Selene stilled his hand and stared at Ethos in sudden understanding of shared pain. “Ethos…?”

Ethos shook his head ruefully. “My assignment to Praxis was a pretty rushed affair. His Navigator died the day before. They were out defending against an attack on their Starbase, and I guess their ship was hit. Praxis doesn’t talk about it, but from what I’ve heard his ship was dead in the water and taking fire. Abel saved him; drew off the enemy ships and gave Praxis enough time to get the engine running and clear the anti-matter cannon’s blast radius. He’s the reason Praxis lost just the eye, and not his life, although there isn’t really any ‘just’ about it.”

Ethos stared into his tea, now gone cold. “I tried to be understanding and supportive. I mean, he’d just lost his flight partner and seen death coming for him. Then Command dumps me into a dead man’s seat, literally it’s the same ship, like his old Navigator was nothing more than a broken, replaceable part and then demands that he be okay. I didn’t expect it to be easy, and I didn’t expect or even want him to love me, but he just ignored me.” Ethos shrugged one shoulder and met Selene’s eyes. “He went out of his way to avoid me and went chasing after Abel. I followed him one time and he just sat on the catwalk in the hanger bay and watched Abel work. Abel is so attractive and charismatic, and I felt invisible around him for a long time.”

Selene closed his eyes in pain, and Ethos reached across the table with one hand to gently pry Selene’s clenched fingers from his mug. “I guess I’m saying I know how you feel, and how much it sucks.” 

Ethos let Selene twine their fingers lightly together and Selene stared at their hands. “What did you do?” he asked softly.

Ethos gave a small humorless laugh and glanced at Selene. “Would you believe that I went to Abel for help?”

Selene stared at him with his eyes narrowed in confusion. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Ethos smiled a little self deprecatingly. “It was before I figured out that he was part of the problem. But Abel was honestly kind and he gave me good advice on dealing with Praxis. He’s a good friend and a good person, Selene. I think he would be genuinely devastated to find out that people resent him sometimes.”

Selene absently stroked the curves of Ethos’ nail beds with his thumb and said thoughtfully, “That doesn’t sound like the Abel that I’ve been dealing with the last few days.” 

“I know.” Ethos sounded concerned. “And I’m worried about his behavior since the accident on the Derelict. It doesn’t seem quite like him, but even if this was totally normal it wouldn’t change what I’m gonna say next.”

Ethos gathered his courage and reached for Selene’s other hand. He spoke slowly so that Selene could really hear every word. “You’re an amazing person Selene. You are kind and brilliant and beautiful. Don’t worry so much about what other people think or how you measure up. Trust me, as someone speaking from personal experience, that it’s so much easier to be happy when you don’t always compare yourself to other people.”

Ethos watched Selene’s eyes well with unshed tears. “I…I don’t know if I can do that as easily as you say it.” He swallowed thickly. “I feel like I always have so much to prove. I’m new to this group, and this is my first assignment and I want…” His voice faltered.

Ethos let go of one of Selene’s hands to wipe a stray tear from his cheek. “It isn’t easy, to say or to do. But it is worth it.” Ethos could see Selene biting the inside of his bottom lip to keep himself in check, but the pained crease between his eyes told Ethos that he was close to falling apart. A lot of new recruits had moments like these, the stress of war and battle pushing them into emotional turmoil. Command tended to ignore the psychological needs of their people, telling them to man up, but Ethos didn’t buy it. He could clearly see how much pain Selene was in; all of this mess with Abel and Helios piling up on top of whatever else his first disastrous mission cost him. He pushed their mugs out of the way and climbed over the table to straddle the bench next to Selene. 

“You don’t have anything to prove to me Selene.” Ethos wrapped his arms around Selene and held him while he broke down and cried.

***

Selene’s tears were brief and quiet but intense. Ethos held him through the emotional storm, one arm wrapped tight around his slim waist, the other hand stroking up and down his spine, smoothing against the soft skin of his neck and combing through his fascinating hair. It felt good to be able to offer someone comfort like this, to find this solidarity in another person. 

What Ethos had told Selene was true; he’d felt invisible for a long time and not just around Abel. He knew what people saw when they looked at him: just Ethos, dumb, short and round. He was twenty-six and he still looked like somebody’s kid brother playing dress up in their uniform. It didn’t matter how kind he was or how much he tried to tame his unruly hair, people still made fun of him for his round face and stocky figure. It didn’t matter how high his IQ was or how many dozen languages he spoke, people still thought he was dim-witted because he had such an open, guileless face and didn’t participate in the intellectual cattiness of the other Navigators. It didn’t matter how high he climbed in the Navigator rankings, he would never be as good as Abel. It didn’t matter, it didn’t matter, it didn’t matter, but it mattered to Ethos and it had almost destroyed his self-worth until one morning he woke up and he was just done.

He would never be as attractive as Abel, or Keeler, or face it, Phobos, although he would die before he was like Phobos in any way. So what? He stared at himself in the mirror for a long time that morning and tried to see himself for what he was instead of what he wasn’t. He was kind, he was compassionate and dependable, and damn smart, he had nice skin and naturally curly hair. He had a good work ethic and a strong moral compass, he didn’t judge people before he knew them and he could forgive people when they made mistakes. In the end, those were the qualities that mattered the most and he would rather be those things any day than be cruel or arrogant or…Phobos. Ethos was a person he could be proud to be. He shed his old, insecure, self-hating skin and walked out the door pink and new, and the first few days were rough until his new skin toughened up but it had been worth it. He spoke his mind, gave his opinions, called people on their bull shit and went for the things he wanted. He didn’t censor himself based on what he thought people expected of him and he didn’t measure himself against them either. He faltered sometimes, had bad days, but on the whole he was happier and he was proud of himself. 

Now Selene needed his help to start his own metamorphosis. He was trapped in his own self-imposed, ill-fitting skin and Ethos wanted to see him set himself free. He hugged Selene a little tighter as his soft, hiccupping breaths slowed against his neck. This was a good place to start; tears were often a catalyst for change.

Eventually, Selene sat back, wiped his face on his sleeve and spoke haltingly. “I’m sorry…thanks Ethos. I didn’t mean to cry on you like that. I guess I’m more upset about all of this than I realized.” He gave Ethos a watery smile. “I’m sorry that you feel like this too, but it’s nice to know that I’m not alone at least.”

“Yeah.” Ethos gently wiped a stray eyelash from Selene’s slightly damp cheek with his thumb. “No one likes to feel alone.” 

Selene turned his face into Ethos’ hand, nuzzling and Ethos could feel his smile where the edge of his palm rested against the corner of Selene’s mouth, could feel Selene’s lips brush his hand as he whispered. “We don’t have to be alone…” He kissed Ethos’ palm and gazed at him through his lashes. “We could…”

Ethos felt his breath hitch at the look in Selene’s beautiful eyes. People didn’t often look at him like that, with lust and longing, and he was very tempted. It would be so nice, so sweet and so good, and he would feel so bad later for taking advantage of an emotionally vulnerable friend. He shivered when Selene touched his neck and had to force his eyes open so that Selene could see the want reciprocated in them; so that he would understand that this wasn’t a flat out rejection. 

“I think you should sleep on that thought Selene, and if you still feel that way tomorrow then we can…we can take it from there.”

Selene dropped his hand back into his own lap. “You’re probably right.” Selene sighed and gave Ethos a funny little smile with only one side of his mouth. “Kiss me at least?”

Ethos felt his heart race and his stomach filled up with butterflies. “Gladly.” He brought his other hand up so that he cupped Selene’s face in both of them and tucked his two-tone hair behind the delicate shells of his ears. Selene’s expression was soft and he was blushing lightly. Ethos took a moment to memorize that look before he tilted Selene’s face slightly and pressed their lips together. 

It was gentle and slow, soft lips brushing together and warm breath on cheeks when they didn’t want to pull too far apart to breathe. It made Ethos’ lips tingle and his toes curled in his boots. He gently tangled one hand in the hair at the base of Selene’s neck and kissed him more deeply. Selene hummed low in his throat, ran his hands up Ethos’ chest to his shoulders and licked his tongue along the seam of Ethos’ lips before reluctantly drawing away.

“Tomorrow?” he asked Ethos breathily.

“Yeah.” Ethos’ voice was reverent, promising. “Tomorrow. If you want. Whatever you want.”

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This picks up at the beginning of day four of the game and quickly goes off script into an alternate ending on a slightly different timeline. Again, don’t think too hard about it. There be spoilers ahead.
> 
> The concept of a fracter is from a book by Ian McDonald called Scissors Cut Paper Wrap Stone. The main character is that story is also named Ethan. :)
> 
> ***

Tomorrow didn’t start out that great, in Ethos’ opinion. The data decryption algorithm he had left running overnight had been successful and he was right, the data was in two different languages. Now that they were isolated he had a much easier time translating them. It was exciting reading, until he realized that one of the languages was a set of instruction for sabotaging a vessel starting with the away ships and progressing to the main craft’s engines. When Kepler’s engines went down two minutes later, he booked it out of his seat and down the hall to Commander Hayden’s office so fast that he left his chair spinning in lazy circles behind him. He stopped short outside the door to the office when he heard _noises_ that he did not want to investigate, rolled his eyes and went to find Lieutenant Keeler instead. He found Lieutenant Keeler around the corner from the mess hall doing something truly obscene with Lieutenant Encke, and beat a hasty retreat before they could notice him. He fled to the observation deck looking for a moment’s peace to collect himself and had to duck behind a support beam when he realized that Abel was already in there falling all over Helios and behaving in an entirely un-Abel like manner. Seriously, what did they put in the water around here? He waited, hardly daring to breathe, until Helios carted Abel off to the medical bay in an uncharacteristic fit of intelligence and then hurried away to the hanger bay to check on the engines. He would fix them himself if he had to.

He arrived there out of breath and still blushing ferociously to find Selene already neck deep in fixing fragmented code and Praxis standing guard. “Major problem,” he gasped out.

Selene smiled briefly at him. “That’s one way of putting it. This is more than just the little power hiccup from two days ago. This looks a lot more like a deliberate and very clever act of sabotage, just like the away vessels.”

“Sabotage! Again?” Praxis sounded appropriately alarmed. “Do you have any idea who could be doing this?”

“I know it’s probably a Navigator based on the method, but that only narrows the field by half.” Selene frowned as he brought up another screen of damaged code.

Ethos put two and two together, got four and also got a new problem in Praxis. “Oh Mother! Praxis! I saw Abel up on the observation deck while I was taking a break up there and he didn’t look so good, but then the engines went down and I had to run here. You better go check and make sure he’s okay!” Ethos lied smoothly and with only a little remorse. He stared at Praxis’ retreating back with a tight face for a moment and then turned to Selene who had stopped typing to give him a look. “What the hell Ethos?”

“I don’t think he’ll be much help right now, because I think you’re right about it being another Navigator. I think its Abel.” Ethos came over to stand shoulder to shoulder with Selene and scanned over the screens of code. 

Selene looked stricken. “Yesterday you told me he was a good person; do you really think he would do something like this?” 

“No, I don’t. But I really did just see him up on the observation deck and he was not himself, just like you said yesterday. I was right too, the Derelict’s data was in two languages and one of them was instructions for exactly the kind of sabotage that’s been happening.” Ethos put a hand on Selene’s arm. “I don’t think Abel would do this, but what if he didn’t have a choice Selene? He’s not acting like himself at all.”

Keeler’s voice came on over the intercom just then shouting something about the bridge and all the screens being compromised, and Ethos went to work isolating their work station from the rest of Kepler’s systems. Thirty seconds later, the intercom sparked back on with Abel, or rather whoever was controlling Abel at the moment, telling them that the Anglers had taken control of the vessel, the engines and life support were down, they were all going to die and to have a nice day.

Selene stared at Ethos in disbelief. “What in the name of… Who the fuck are the Anglers?”

“I have no idea!” Ethos shook his head and watched as Selene went back to typing furiously. Ethos jumped in too, as comfortable with the computer code as he was with any other language he’d studied. Abel had done a real number on the system though, and it fought their attempts to fix it at every turn. The air started to go thin and Ethos could see his and Selene’s breath as the temperature dropped rapidly. 

Selene started coughing as the cold and the lack of oxygen seized his lungs, and Ethos worriedly ran a hand up his back. “Selene?”

Selene shook his head and went back to typing. “Almost got it. Don’t worry.” He glanced at Ethos out of the corner of his eye. “I have a compelling reason not to die today.”

Ethos felt the air go out of his lungs in a way that had nothing to do with the failing life support. He’d gone to bed last night with a stupid smile on his face, elated by the emotional kiss he’d shared with Selene, but also kind of worried that Selene would be pissed at him for even that much. This was more than he had really dared to hope for, and everything that he had dreamed about last night when he finally fell asleep to the sound of Praxis snoring like a bear. Well, everything minus the potential death at the hands of a friend. 

Selene finished typing the last bit of new code into the engine protocols and the engines turned over and started back up again. They both sank to the floor in relief at the sound. Selene leaned his forehead against Ethos’ shoulder and his whole body shook slightly with adrenaline and cold. “How could a species of alien that we’ve never met make someone do something like this?”

Ethos wrapped an arm around Selene’s shoulders and focused on breathing deeply now that the life support was coming back online. “I would guess some kind of brainwashing, but you usually need some form of face to face contact for that. I’m really not sure what we’re dealing with here.”

Ethos turned his head slightly to look at Selene, but Selene’s eyes were distant, focused on the opposite wall without seeing it. “Anglers…Do you know much about Terran deep ocean marine life Ethos?” Ethos shook his head and Selene continued in a slow, thoughtful voice working it out at the same time as he explained it. “There is an order of fish called Anglerfish that lure their prey right into their mouths with a fleshy barb that grows out of their heads. The barbs have symbiotic phosphorescent bacteria in the tips and it is so dark down there that the light hypnotizes their prey and draws them willingly to their deaths.” He eyes flicked back to meet Ethos’ and he smiled dangerously. “It’s the light.” 

He jumped to his feet and reached a hand down to help Ethos up. “Come on.” 

“Where are we going?” Ethos pulled himself to his feet and ended up standing closer to Selene than he had maybe intended. 

Selene leaned forward to kiss him briefly on the mouth. “To the medical bay; if we know what caused this, then we can fix it.” 

***

They made it to the medical bay in record time, both panting slightly and still holding hands. They surveyed the scene that met them in dismay. Abel had been and gone, and he’d left a trail of unconscious medical officers in his wake. 

Selene bent down to the nearest one and checked for a pulse. Satisfied that he was merely knocked out and not dead, he moved on to the others. “Ethos, can you start isolating the main workstation from the rest of the Kepler please? I need to take a look at what the light did to Abel’s brain waves without it messing me up too.” 

“That I can do, but you’re out of luck if you need help with brain waves.” Ethos went to the main workstation and started typing away with his eyes closed, accessing the isolation override by memory. “My understanding of language doesn’t start until the words leave people’s heads. Anything dealing with the insides is pretty much beyond me.” He cracked one eye open to stare at the screen and waved Selene over. “Got it.”

“Don’t worry about it; I know what I’m looking for.” Selene pulled up the CT scan data for Abel, both normal baseline from his intake examination, and what medical had taken when he’d been in less than an hour ago and his face fell. “Oh wow. Ethos, it’s like his brain is stuck in a loop. The same neurons keep firing over and over again in exactly the same pattern. If he’s aware of what’s happening to him at all, then it’s probably driving him mad.” Selene shook his head in grief and disbelief. “He doesn’t have a choice about what he’s doing. The Anglers took away his agency and turned him into a sleeper agent in order to hijack our ship.”

“That’s insidious.” Ethos glanced at Selene standing confidently next to him. “How do you cause something like this? Scratch that, how do you _fix_ something like this?”

“I have an idea. I studied fracters in college. This doesn’t look so different. Light instead of an image, but still the same concept.” Selene stared at the second CT scan thoughtfully and chewed on a thumbnail. “Can you isolate a datapad for me too?”

“Sure.” Ethos grabbed the closest datapad and went to work. “Um, what’s a fracter?”

“It’s an image, usually some abstract iconography that is designed to bypass conscious visual interpretation and activate certain parts of the brain to produce an automatic subconscious response.” Ethos gave him the isolated datapad and a blank look. “It’s basically a picture that makes your brain feel or do things without your input. What the Anglers are doing with light is a little more sophisticated but I understand their methodology, and I think I can put together my own version to cancel out what they’ve done to Abel.” He brought up the screen controls and started making adjustments to the brightness of individual pixels in a pattern that Ethos couldn’t follow.

“I was right.” Selene glanced at Ethos with a question in the tilt of his eyebrow and Ethos continued, gesturing to the datapad. “You _are_ brilliant.”

Selene went back to his pixel arrangement with a smile on his face. “Thanks Ethos. I’m not sure I can tell you how much it means to hear you say that after the last few days…”

“You can try telling me; I’ll listen.” Ethos bumped Selene shoulder with his own. “But after we stop Abel okay? This time, it’s our turn to save the day. In the name of the moon…”

“Oh my God Ethos, you are a huge dork!” Selene finished his light fracter and stared at him with his mouth open but turned up at the corners.

“Yup,” Ethos’ smile turned devious, “but you knew exactly what I was talking about. Come along Sailor Moon. We’ve got a plot to foil.”

***

They found Abel on the bridge; laughing maniacally and kicking Helios’ ass in hand to hand combat. Ethos paused in shock at the exit to the lift, but Selene simply squared his shoulders, marched up behind Abel, tapped him on the shoulder and then shoved the lit datapad in Abel’s face when he turned around. Abel dropped instantly and was unconscious by the time he hit the floor. 

Commander Hayden strode over, pulling his arm back to slap Abel awake but Cain’s growl was so loud and so fierce that he never quite made it through with that plan. Cain and Helios knelt down to gently wake Abel up, and when his eyes were open and he was propped up enough to see what was going on, he took one look at Selene and burst into hysterical tears. 

“I’m so sorry, thank you; I’m so sorry, thank you.” Over and over again.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waahh, Sailor Moon reference, I couldn’t help myself. Now I have an image in my head of Selene dressed in that cute Sailor Moon outfit and holding a flogger. “In the name of the moon, I will punish you.” I wish I could draw. Please send help.
> 
> ***


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PWP… Penguins With Parachutes? Phantoms Wielding Pies? People Wearing Ponchos? For my stories, it appears to be Plot With Porn. We will now dispense with the plot in three…two…one.
> 
> My writing appears to have entered a downward spiral of increasing dirtiness… 
> 
> Also, polyglot Ethos is a huge turn on for me. His explanation about his linguistic specialization at the end of the chapter is my new headcanon.
> 
>  
> 
> ***

Ethos stood next to Selene in the medical bay and watched as he calmly explained the situation to the CMO and Commander Hayden. Ethos could see a lot of it going right over Commander Hayden’s head, and Ethos resolved to help Selene file a proper report to make sure that Abel was not held responsible for things that were not his fault. Abel was a victim, not a criminal. 

Abel had been readmitted to medical and was lying on his bed with his head in Cain’s lap. He had cried himself into unconsciousness on the bridge and Cain had carried him to the medical bay himself, refusing to let anyone else touch Abel. His new CT scan came back looking fairly normal, but Ethos knew that was only part of the healing that needed to take place. Even in sleep, Abel looked miserable and Ethos ached for his friend.

Cain looked up from where he was gently petting Abel’s hair. He met Ethos’ eyes and then Selene’s. “Thank you,” he said softly. “Both of you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if… Fuck it; just, thank you.”

Selene nodded solemnly, and Ethos was honestly shocked. Cain thanked them? Cain could act like a civilized human being? He’d always though Abel was an idiot for loving Cain, but he was going to have to reevaluate that in light of Cain’s current behavior. Ethos was even more surprised when Helios limped over to the bed with his cracked ribs bound tight to stroke Abel’s shoulder and Cain didn’t snarl at him.

Well, people could change. Ethos knew that from experience. 

Ethos waited a few minutes while Selene checked in with Helios and then they left together. Selene flopped against the wall of the lift while they rode it back to crew quarter’s deck. “What a day. Please tell me that this isn’t normal around here.”

“Nope, thank Mother. Today definitely tops the list of weird shit I’ve dealt with.” Ethos shook his head in exasperation. “Still, it makes a good story, now that we’ve survived it.”

Selene reached a hand out to rest on the curve of Ethos’ shoulder. “I don’t think I could have done it without you. What you said to me last night…I really needed to hear that. And like I said earlier, I don’t know if I can explain in words how much it meant to me.” 

“You could show me.” Ethos said daringly. He grinned hugely. “I’m pretty fluent in body language, too.”

Selene burst into laughter. “You really are such a dork. It’s ridiculously adorable.” Selene stroked Ethos’ cheek. “Helios is stuck in medical all night. Do you want to pick up where we left off?”

“Yes!” Ethos blurted out.

Selene laughed again. “Come on then.” The lift door opened, and he grabbed Ethos’ hand and dragged him down the hall to bunk seven.

***

Selene’s room looked pretty much exactly like the one that Ethos shared with Praxis, except for the ‘Boy Toy’ T-shirt wadded up on the desk. Selene followed Ethos’ line of sight and rolled his eyes. “Can you believe that Helios actually came up to the bridge wearing that? And a collar! I thought Keeler was going to have a conniption fit when he saw him. At least, that’s what I’m choosing to believe that look was about.” Selene chucked the T-shirt into the hamper and opened a drawer. “Anyway, enough about Helios and Keeler, more about you. Make yourself comfortable.”

“Are you top bunk or bottom?” Ethos asked Selene. Helios might be a bit of a jerk, but Ethos wasn’t and he was not going to have sex in his bed.

Selene looked up from where he was rooting around in the drawer. “Top.”

Ethos came up behind Selene and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Do you find this indicative of your preferences?” he asked playfully. He shivered in anticipation when Selene retrieved a bottle of lube and a condom from the drawer.

Selene spun around in his embrace and gave him a wicked grin. “Why don’t you get up there and find out?”

“Yessir.” Ethos started up the ladder and Selene pinched his butt when it came level with his face. Ethos laughed, hauled himself up faster, and rolled towards the head of the bed. Selene followed him up, dropped the lube and condom out of the way and then tackled Ethos against the mattress. “Oof, wait just a second Selene! Let me at least get my boots off.” 

Selene rolled his eyes, reached down to pull Ethos’ boots off, threw them over the side of the bed and chucked his own down after them. “Anything else?”

Ethos shook his head, flattered by Selene’s eagerness. He laid himself out on Selene’s bed and opened his arm, reaching for him. “C’mere.” 

Ethos felt the stress of their unbelievable day fall away as Selene crawled on top of him, crowding into his space and kissing at his lips. He wrapped his arms around Selene, pulled him down so that they touched all along the lengths of their bodies, and sighed as Selene’s weight pressed him into the mattress. Ethos didn’t mind being a little squashed, and Selene really wasn’t that heavy anyway. Selene kissed him hungrily, demandingly, one hand wrapped around the back of Ethos’ neck and the other against his jaw to coax his mouth open while he slipped his tongue inside. He took his time, tasting and stroking against Ethos’ tongue and Ethos gave himself up to Selene’s fervor. Ethos spread his thighs wider to cradle Selene’s slim hips between them, and then wrapped one leg around the back of Selene’s knee, canting his hips up and pressing them together where they were both getting hard. 

“Shit Ethos,” Selene shuddered in pleasure and pulled Ethos’ bottom lip between his teeth, worrying and biting at the tender flesh. “Hmmmm…want you.”

“Not, aah, not going anywhere Selene.” Ethos was committed to this. He wasn’t leaving Selene’s bed until they were finished unless they were under attack or on fire. “Any other disasters are gonna have to wait on our pleasure.”

Selene chuckled at the double entendre and tangled his fingers in Ethos’ curly hair. He gently turned Ethos’ head so that he could bite and suck kisses up his neck, and started grinding his hips down against him. 

“Hmff!” Ethos ran his hands down Selene’s back, grabbing Selene’s ass with one and slipping the other under his uniform jacket and undershirt to stroke his skin. Selene pulled back from what Ethos was sure would be a hickey tomorrow, and pulled open Ethos’ jacket. Their uniforms met the same fate as their boots in a rain of white clothing tossed over the side of the bed. Ethos had one moment to feel slightly embarrassed about how he looked next to Selene’s beautiful body before he remembered that he tried not to do that anymore. He could waste his mental energy worrying, or he could focus on how amazing Selene was and enjoy himself. That wasn’t really a hard choice. Besides, Selene clearly wanted him and that was good enough for Ethos.

Selene sat up, shimmied out of his underwear, and Ethos sat up a bit to pull his off too. Selene threw the last of their clothing towards the floor and sat back on the bed on his knees. Ethos finally got a good look at all of him laid bare; he really was that amazing color all over. Ethos touched as much of him as he could reach from his half reclined position, relishing the contact of skin on skin. Selene closed his eyes in pleasure as Ethos ran his hands up his legs, over his hips and belly, massaged along his chest and teased at peaked, caramel-colored nipples. He reached one hand down to wrap around Selene’s hard dick, all soft skin, heavy weight and smooth, damp tip. Selene let Ethos stroke him a few times before grasping his wrist and gently pushing Ethos back down into the pillow. 

Selene caressed his hands up the warm skin of Ethos’ chest and his eyes went soft and heavy lidded when Ethos writhed and pushed himself up against Selene’s hands. “You look so good like this Ethos. Will you let me fuck you?”

“Yes please,” Ethos sighed enthusiastically.

Selene traced his fingers along the crease where Ethos’ thigh met his groin and bit his lip in anticipation. “Roll over for me then.”

Ethos carefully moved his legs, pulling them back from around Selene’s waist and crossing them so that he could roll over without ending up as a pretzel or on the floor. He grabbed Selene’s pillow and wrapped his arms around it while he stretched himself out on the bed. Selene growled softly and ran his hands up and down Ethos’ back, just palms first and then fingernails in a touch that left a trail of goose bumps in their wake. 

Ethos let himself relax under the insistent petting, sinking down into the sheets and humming softly. He felt himself starting to drift a little in contentment and arousal when Selene suddenly sat up, pulled one hand back and smacked his ass. It wasn’t hard enough to really hurt but it was more than enough to jolt Ethos back into himself.

“Oof… ahh!” Ethos gasped in surprise and pleasure. He shuddered a bit and he felt Selene freeze behind him for a moment. 

Selene sat up a little more and put one hand on Ethos’ shoulder, startled by such an extreme reaction. “I’m sorry Ethos. Should I not have done that?”

Ethos turned his head to look over his shoulder at Selene. “Oh no,” he said breathlessly, “you definitely should have. In fact, you should do it again, like right now.”

Ethos watched the worry melt off Selene’s face, replaced with deviousness. “Yeah?” He smacked Ethos again on the other ass cheek.

Ethos dropped his head back onto the pillow and wiggled his ass in invitation. “Yeah.”

Selene smacked him a few more times, the sounds loud in the small room and then dropped his face against Ethos’ lower back, kissing at the dimples there. “Please tell me this isn’t the only time we’re going to do this. Now I’ve got so many things I want to do to you, but I can’t think straight right now.” He slid farther down the bed until he could gently sink his teeth into one of Ethos’ pink cheeks.

“Aah! Not the only time,” Ethos promised. “Come _on_ Selene!” He pulled his knees under him a bit and pushed his ass up so that Selene could reach him better. Ethos heard the click of the lube cap, and then he almost banged his head into the wall when, instead of a cool, slick finger opening him up, he felt Selene’s tongue lick into him. All the blood not trapped in his dick rushed to his head, and he couldn’t hear Selene’s dirty laugh over the pounding in his ears, but he could feel the vibrations and Selene’s hot breath against his ass. Selene pulled Ethos’ ass up even higher and licked him again. Ethos cried out and buried his face in Selene’s pillow, whimpering and clutching at the sheets as Selene worked him over with his tongue.

Ethos couldn’t quite believe what was happening to him. He felt his face flush red in a mixture of embarrassment and arousal as Selene stuck his tongue all the way inside him and wiggled it around. Selene knew what he was doing, and, if his enthusiasm was any indicator, had no problems with something that Ethos considered terribly dirty. Selene dug his fingers into Ethos’ round ass, pulled his cheeks farther apart, and made the most obscene wet, sucking noise. Ethos chewed on his bottom lip and wondered half-lucidly if he would spontaneously combust. He felt Selene eventually add his fingers to the mix, first two and then three curling and stretching him open, but his mouth never left. Ethos felt something wet and sticky drip on his calf, and he realized that Selene had started leaking in excitement. He rubbed his leg up against Selene’s dick and brought Selene’s attention back from his blissful stupor as he ate Ethos out.

“Hmm…you ready Ethos?” Selene nuzzled his face into the flesh where ass met upper thigh, and his long, soft hair felt cool against Ethos’ overheated skin.

“Yessss,” Ethos hissed as Selene curled his fingers inside him one last time before pulling them out. He watched Selene hunt down the condom where it had slipped between the mattress and the wall, and Selene carefully ripped it open with his teeth. Ethos took it from him and watched Selene watch him as he rolled it on, stroking and squeezing gently at Selene’s dick. Selene kissed him again, biting at his lips before sitting back and guiding Ethos down to the bed. Ethos went eagerly back into his previous position, face pressed into the pillow and knees pulled up and out to the side with his weight on his chest and inner thighs. His dick dragged against the sheets as Selene moved into place behind him and Ethos whined low in his throat when Selene pulled his ass cheeks apart and started pushing into him. 

Selene took his time working into him, carefully rocking forward until he worked past the resisting muscles and Ethos’ body drew him the rest of the way in. They both groaned in pleasure when Selene bottomed out, hips flush against Ethos’ ass, and they paused for a moment to catch their breath. Ethos sagged against the mattress and tried not to drool as his mouth fell open at how good he felt. Selene brought one hand up to brush the hair from the nape of Ethos’ neck and licked at the perspiration beading at his hair line. “Aaaah…you feel so good Ethos.” Selene settled himself against Ethos, chest to his back, arms caging him in, hands entwined on the bed and started grinding into him. “Shit, so good.”

Ethos rolled his head against the pillow and his toes curled in the sheets. He squeezed his eyes shut as Selene picked up his pace and pleasure started to spark through him. “Ooh…ooh…ooh.” Ethos felt the breathy sounds leave him on every exhale as Selene set into a rhythm, not a sharp in and out motion, but a smooth continuous roll of his hips that worked his dick against Ethos’ inner walls and set them both moaning. Selene pushed Ethos’ right leg out a little wider with his knee and Ethos almost shouted with how good the next thrust in felt. Recognizing that he had got Ethos where he wanted him, Selene locked one arm around his waist and kept him there while Ethos started to shake and spasm in uncontrollable pleasure. 

“Aahn!” Ethos pressed his hands up against the wall above his head, grounding himself to better meet Selene’s demanding thrusts. Each one shot pleasure through his whole body and his mind was overwhelmed by the reality of it all. Shit, how was it even possible to feel this good without flying apart? He didn’t think his skin could hold him together and he cried out again, a half scream that he didn’t think he had ever made before. He didn’t know if it was a cry for more, or a cry for mercy, but Selene gave him both, reaching the arm wrapped around his waist down to stroke his dick and fucking into him even harder. Ethos went suddenly quiet, shocked into silence by the cresting wave of his pleasure and when he came the next moment, his scream was ragged and broken by how little air he could draw into his lungs. 

All the strength went out of his limbs, and he lay there in a daze, overwhelmed by the strength of his orgasm. He reached a shaking hand down behind him to grab at Selene’s ass and he shuddered again when Selene came too, moaning and swearing into Ethos’ neck.

***

They lay there for a few moments; Selene draped over Ethos’ back, dick softening in his ass and face buried in the sweaty skin of his neck. Ethos’ hand dropped weakly to the bed and Selene reached for it and pulled in to his face. Ethos felt Selene press a kiss into his palm and fold his fingers around it before carefully pulling out of him. He watched Selene tie the condom off and set it aside at the foot of the bed before helping him straighten out his legs and roll over onto his back. Selene smiled when he saw the soft, hazy glow on Ethos’ face. “Hey.” Selene ran the cleaner of his two hands along Ethos’ jaw. “You okay in there?”

“Holy fuck, yes.” Ethos licked his dry lips and reached to pull Selene down next to him. “Please and thank you. Good God.”

Selene laughed in delight, flattered by Ethos’ incoherent answer and allowed himself to be cuddled ferociously. Ethos had it down to an art; he would make a koala proud. Ethos threw one leg over Selene, snuggling even close, and Selene amended his comparison to octopus. He pulled Ethos to his chest and octopused back, nosing into Ethos’ soft, wild hair. 

They lay there together in the afterglow, kissing softly and stroking warm, intimate hands over each other for long minutes until Ethos shifted and made an unhappy noise. “I’m lying in the wet spot Selene.” 

“Oh? Must be a big one then because I’m pretty sure I’m also in it. It’s all you too.” Selene’s teasing voice dropped to a rough whisper. “You came so _hard_ Ethos; loved watching you.” He ran his toes up the instep of Ethos’ foot. “Do you want to get cleaned up?”

Ethos grinned. “I guess I’ll have to move sometime.” He crawled down the bed to the ladder and carefully climbed down, testing out how sore he was. It wasn’t too bad and he locked his arms over his head in a full body stretch while Selene climbed down after him. They surveyed their clothes all over the floor with skepticism, and instead walked down to the shared showers in towels. Most of the crew was down in the mess hall celebrating not being dead so they had the bathroom to themselves. 

They stripped down and turned on the water, crowding into one too-small stall together but unwilling to part. Selene offered Ethos his shampoo because he hadn’t gone back to his own quarters to grab his supplies. Ethos got a little distracted watching the water slide over Selene’s body and Selene laughed a little bit. He took the bottle back and turned Ethos around to wet his hair.

“I was wondering Ethos, what do you think will happen next?” Selene scrubbed shampoo into Ethos’ hair with strong fingers.

“Well,” Ethos closed his eyes in pleasure and considered. “We’re heading back to Starbase One soon for a formal debriefing; after that, I’m not sure. Most of the crew will probably be sent back out on battle rotation, but Praxis and I will be stationed on Starbase One until they need us again.”

“Need you again for what?” Selene rinsed the shampoo out of Ethos’ hair and started on his own.

“I get sent on a lot of these deep space, potential alien-contact missions because of my linguistic specialization. Command likes to keep me close to home so that they can deploy me quickly when they need to.” Ethos shook the water out of his eyes, and started soaping up a washcloth.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. You were right about the Derelict data being in two languages, even when nobody else seemed to think it mattered, and you translated both of them so fast.” Selene rinsed his hair and started finger combing in the conditioner.

“I’m a fully trained Navigator, but I was originally recruited to the Alliance because of all my work on language isolates.” Ethos handed the washcloth to Selene so that he could wash Ethos’ back and saw the confusion on his face. “Um, well most languages are related to other languages right? English has a lot of similarities to Greek and Spanish and Russian, and even Sanskrit because they’re all in the same language family. It’s the same all over the world: people migrate and one of the things they bring with them is their way of speaking. There’re hundreds of language families and thousands of languages; it’s pretty cool.” Ethos took the washcloth back and started washing off the results of the last half hour while Selene rinsed the conditioner out of his hair. “A language isolate is a language that _isn’t_ related to any other one, as far as we can tell. They don’t borrow from or share roots with another language. They’re unique; each completely different from everything else. I’ve studied a lot of them: Korean, Basque, Zuni, Ainu, Sandawe, Irantxe and dozens of others. I’m good at them, I pick them up fast; I guess my brain is wired right to understand language. The Alliance has a unique need for people who can work with completely new languages and that’s why I’m here. You know, to talk to aliens.” Ethos laughed a little.

Selene shook his head in wonder and went to work with his own washcloth. “That’s amazing.” He smiled at Ethos. “I’m surrounded by so many amazing people here.”

“And you’re one of those amazing people Selene. You know that right?” Selene looked away, biting his lip, but Ethos reached out a hand to turn Selene’s face back. “Hey, remember what I told you about being happy? Part of that is recognizing and accepting the things that you are really good at. Don’t dismiss your strengths and don’t disregard your triumphs. Today you hacked apart and rewrote an alien signal designed to influence a person’s brain waves based on something very abstract you studied in college that I’m willing to bet isn’t as similar as you made it sound.” Ethos leaned their foreheads together and stared into his eyes. “Give it up Selene, you’re awesome.”

Selene rubbed their noses together before kissing Ethos tenderly on the lips. “Thanks Ethos. I’ll…try to remember that.”

Ethos turned off the water and reached for their towels. “It takes time to change Selene. Given all the work you did on the signal, I wouldn’t be surprised if Command wants to transfer you into their alien contact division. You’d get to stay on Starbase One with me and I could help remind you when you forget.” He gave Selene a shit-eating grin and pulled him close by the towel slung low about his hip. “Maybe you could show me some of the other things you’re amazing at too.”

Selene laughed. “It’s a deal.”

***


End file.
